What it sounds like
- If they are upset, I must fix it.
- "If my team is stressed, I must fix all of it personally." Leadership, yes. Omnipotence, no.
Cognitive distortion
Internal Control Fallacy
Believing you are responsible for everything and everyone.
Classic tell: If they are upset, I must fix it.
Back to the guideFurther explanation
What is happening underneath?
Believing you are responsible for everything and everyone.
You become responsible for everyone's feelings, outcomes, and weather patterns. It looks noble until it quietly eats your life.
How to tell
- You take responsibility for things outside your role, authority, or actual power.
Why people use it
- Over-responsibility can feel like love, professionalism, or safety.
How to respond
- Ask: "What is mine to own, and what belongs to another adult?"
Manipulation watch
How this gets used on people.
- Workplaces exploit this by framing impossible workloads as personal dedication rather than management failure.